


Samson

by spaceboiiii



Series: these pillars aren't the world [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Queerplatonic Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 07:04:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7674808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceboiiii/pseuds/spaceboiiii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were a thousand changes in life that Kenma had no control over.</p><p>At least he had Kuroo, for the moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Samson

**Author's Note:**

> listen, I know it's nearly 5 AM but who gives a shit I need to post this before I forget
> 
> heavily inspired by Regina Spektor's [Samson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8). I highly suggest listening to it while you read.

Change has never been one of Kenma’s strong suits.

If someone asked anyone else who knew him, they’d say the exact opposite. Kenma went with the flow; he didn’t care one way or the other what happens.

Kenma didn’t exactly want to admit it, but that part of his reputation was dead wrong. He struggled upon moving to Tokyo when he was a young child. He struggled when his grandmother died, and when he moved from primary school to middle school, and from middle school to high school. The only thing that had kept him sane throughout it all was his trusty PSP.

That, and Kuroo Tetsurou.

Kenma saved his game and shut off his handheld. Plunged into darkness, he looked to his side at his digital alarm clock, groaning softly when he saw that it was just past midnight. He fumbled with the cord hanging over his night stand and managed to plug in his PSP to charge.

Less than twelve hours from now, Kenma thought, Kuroo Tetsurou would be graduating from Nekoma High. Kenma would officially be a third year. Kuroo, his anchor through everything, would be moving off to university. Despite him only moving across the city, Kenma felt as if he was awaiting the amputation of one of his limbs; he knew he’d live through it, and perhaps become stronger because of it, but life was much easier and more pleasant with all of his limbs.

Kenma rolled over and buried his face into the pillow, trying to will away the stone forming behind his Adam’s apple. He combed his fingers through his long, dyed blond hair, pulling the strands away from his face. He really needed to redye it soon; his roots were nearly brushing his ears. He couldn’t be bothered lately, though—not with his best friend’s abandonment looming anxiously over his head.

When he finally looked up again, he felt like it had been nearly an hour that he’d been worrying himself sick about the next day. The clock told him otherwise, and the lump in his throat nearly ruptured into tears when he found it had only been eight minutes.

“Fuck,” Kenma whispered to himself, pushing himself up and onto his knees, his mound of blankets slipping down his back. He shifted, crawling out of bed and walking to his window. He slid the windowpane up and, ignoring the shiver of brisk March winds that invaded his room, leaned out as far as he dared.

A breath he didn’t know he was holding rushed out of his chest when he saw the light still on in the corner window of the house next door. He grabbed a sweater and trekked into the hall, avoiding the places where the wood floor squeaked as he snuck by his parent’s room.

Kenma yanked his hood over his ears and slipped his shoes on by the door before he pushed the door open and raced across the stretch of driveway and grass between his house and the next. He withdrew the spare key from its hiding place and unlocked the door, making sure to slip the key back before he entered and locked the door again behind him.

Discarding his shoes, he again snuck through the house and up the stairs, tapping gently on Kuroo’s door, opening it as there was a quiet murmur of acknowledgment, “I’m going to bed soon, I know.”

Kuroo laid in bed, reading glasses tucked over his nose. When he looked up to see who had opened his door, his eyes widened, though Kenma knew he wasn’t entirely surprised. Kenma shed his sweatshirt and crawled into bed beside his best friend.

Without words, Kuroo slid his bookmark into place and set his book on the floor beside his bed. Kenma slid his glasses gently from his face, handing them off to Kuroo to place on top of the book. The third-year shifted under the blankets, tucking his arm under his head as he rolled to face Kenma. “Me too.”

Kenma kicked his way under the blankets, wordlessly curling himself against Kuroo’s chest. He loved that he didn’t even have to say it, because he knew that if he did, the words probably wouldn’t find their way out: I’m scared.

Kuroo’s arm slid over his best friend’s waist, pulling him a little closer. He remained quiet, instead putting all his energy toward attempting to radiate love and comfort into the small body beside him. Kenma could almost feel it, though he figured it was probably just Kuroo’s body heat after his brief trek outdoors.

“It’s going to be different,” Kenma found himself saying without his permission, “And I know that, and I want to be okay with that, but… I don’t want anything to change.”

Kuroo nodded, nuzzling his nose into Kenma’s hair. “Me neither.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know. I don’t want to leave you either.” They fell silent for a moment, and Kuroo rubbed a hand soothingly in circles in the center of Kenma’s back. “I love you, Kenma. That won’t change,” he murmured into Kenma’s dark roots, placing a gentle kiss there.

Kenma’s heart stuttered and warmed all at once. “You can’t be sure, though. I love you too, but I can’t be sure that’ll never change, because it might. Even if we don’t want it to.”

Kuroo nodded again, pressing his lips together. “I know. But we don’t want it to, so that’s got to count for something, right?” He moved his chin away from Kenma’s head to look him in the eye. 

Kenma let his eyes meet Kuroo’s, nodding. “I guess.” His gaze flickered across Tetsurou’s face, between his golden brown eyes, over the smooth arch of his nose, coming to a rest on his pink, enticing lips. Kenma places a gentle kiss there, sliding his arm over Kuroo’s side.

Kuroo smiled and returned the kiss. It wasn’t a particularly new thing, but he relished every time his best friend’s lips met his. He knew Kenma was hesitant about romance and sexuality, so he never made advances. He always let Kenma engage him when he was ready and willing, and his heart grew two sizes with each kiss.

Before Kuroo prepared for the kiss to break, Kenma pulled back. He shifted away from Kuroo, leaving a hollow for the cool air in the room to chill both of them. Kuroo looked up at the blond boy with confusion in his eyes.

“I have to pee,” Kenma said, a small smile gracing his nervous lips. He leaned down and placed one more chaste kiss on Kuroo’s lips before his socked feet hit the ground and he padded out of the room and toward the bathroom.

Kuroo sighed and turned onto his back. His eyes were drawn to the one glow-in-the-dark star that still clung to the ceiling beside the light fixture, glowing a soft lime green. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling the tug of every muscle as he did. Kenma’s kisses were a rare gift to be treasured, and he refused to take them for granted. They had the ability to entirely wipe the anxiety from his mind, making him temporarily forget about the daunting new journey he was about to set out upon.

“Kuro,” he heard a tiny voice call him from down the hall. “I need help.”

Without a second thought, Kuroo was out of bed and down the hall, stopping short in the doorway. Kenma stared at himself in the mirror, scissors in hand. Locks of dyed blond hair fell limply around the sink, his shoulders, and the floor around his feet.

Kenma’s eyes met Kuroo’s in the mirror. “I needed a change I could control,” he mumbled, lips barely moving. He held the scissors out, and Kuroo took them without further explanation.

Kenma closed his eyes as he felt Kuroo’s strong, calloused hands stroke gently across his neck, brushing away stray hairs. He heard the snip of the scissors as Kuroo evened out the back and sides where Kenma missed in his haste. His eyes fell upon Kuroo’s in the mirror again. “Thank you.”

Kuroo nodded and smiled softly, laying a kiss against what was left of Kenma’s hair. He carded his fingers through the strands, barely enough left to do so. “Some parts are still shorter than others,” he said, brushing a piece where Kenma had brought the scissors close to his scalp.

“Do you have any clippers?”

Kuroo set his hand on Kenma’s shoulder, guiding him to step out of the way so the elder could crouch in front of the sink, rummaging around underneath it for the set of hair clippers. He picked the longest blade guard and plugged it in. Kenma stepped back in front of him, taking a steadying breath.

Kuroo paused, the buzzing of the clippers echoing in the small bathroom. “Are you sure?”

Kenma nodded, fingers wrapping around the edge of the sink. With that, Kuroo set to work, trimming Kenma’s hair short. He paused to swipe clumps of hair off Kenma’s shoulders, turning the clippers off when he saw tears sliding down Kenma’s face. “Kenma?”

“I’m okay,” he said with a swallow. “I need this. I’m just sad,” he admitted, wiping his face with the back of one hand.

“Alright.” Kuroo turned the clippers back on, finishing his job. He unplugged the clippers and set them aside, reaching around Kenma to grab and dampen a face cloth. The hairs on the back of Kenma’s neck rose as the cool cloth wiped away the remaining stray hairs. 

Kuroo tossed the rag in the sink when he was done, resting his hands on Kenma’s shoulders. “You go lay down. I’ll clean up.”

Kenma managed a nod, fingers twitching against the sink. He couldn’t yet bring himself to feel his head, but he knew already that he felt naked without it. He took a deep breath and turned to face Kuroo, pushing up onto his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”

Once the mess was cleaned up, Kuroo returned to his bedroom and crawled under the covers around the Kenma-shaped lump. “I love you,” he whispered, pulling Kenma close. 

Kenma snuggled in readily. “I love you, too.” He let his nose brush against Kuroo’s, and he worried that Kuroo would be able to feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Kuroo’s heart raced in his chest, tilting his chin and pressing their lips together softly. Kenma slipped his arm around Kuroo, tugging him closer as he kissed back.

“Please try to never leave me,” he murmured against Kuroo’s lips, rubbing their cheeks together.

Kuroo closes his eyes, taking in Kenma’s entire presence. “I’ll try,” he promised.

“Thank you.” Kenma kissed him again, and again, and again. “I love you,” he said between each one. “I love you, Tetsurou.” His voice was no more than a whisper, and Kuroo could tell he was on the brink of sleep.

“I love you too, Kenma.”

**Author's Note:**

> http://spaceboiiii.tumblr.com


End file.
